I just feel very unlucky. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. It was real. All the hopes, dreams, and plans we made with our little bumps has been taken away from us. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. Perhaps because we are alone in this, it has brought my partner and me very close. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. Then I picked myself up. I let out an animal scream and [wife] kind of leapt onto me on the bed. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. It was interesting - well it was fantastic to see this fetus and to see this child that was yours that was horribly ill - but you didn't really get much opportunity to see that because the consultant was more about measurements and all sorts of blood flow and various other screens coming up. I have a terrible hatred of pregnant women and a new respect for infertile couples. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. This image shows a baby's face and hands at 20 weeks, and gives you an idea of what you'll be able to see at this scan. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. I wasn't unduly worried at all. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. The hardest thing I have ever done. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. It's part of our family. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. You're in and out and that was it. We were denying him his life. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see '. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. Those two weeks were agonising for us both. I had to wait for a doctor to explain the situation. . or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. . And attribute some blame to them. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. Sam followed and I broke down. 'I was having nightmares and panic attacks. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. Our position in our families has shifted. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. However, at the time neither of us could articulate that. If an abnormality is confirmed or suspected, referral is usually required, although some obvious major fetal abnormalities, such as anencephaly, may not require a second opinion (this should be decided by local guidelines). At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. I did. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. The baby was very, very small. He looked excited. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. [Husband] couldn't make it. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. Just that really! He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. I want to be happy again. That was the first time I had heard him cry. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. The termination would be averting a tragedy. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. . Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. I wanted to let nature take its course. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. I agreed to an internal scan as the sonographer said we could get a better picture of what was happening. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. We've got the same battle scars. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. We walked all the way home. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. The baby was kicking so hard that I began to believe him. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. It was probably all right but hadn't had any fluid in it at the moment. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? It took 20 minutes to push him out. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. We had the baby cremated. And so we talked about it euphemistically, never saying the word "research". Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. This was on the Friday. All my plans were beginning to fall down. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. The sonographer told me to take the notes, and the scan photos with me so they could review them also. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. It felt so wrong. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. No one else felt him kick. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. My baby might have Down's syndrome. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. Slightly marked from our peers. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. I have horrible thoughts. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. You do not have to have the scan. I was saving my child from pain and suffering. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. It feels very lonely and isolating. And I, and, I felt the weight of deciding what to do about it. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. What happens at the second midwife appointment? So we hid in our house. From losing my dad to his battle with cancer, to then having to face another battle with cancer and my mum; thankfully she pulled though. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. I think at that time she had come to terms better with the fact that this baby was going to be terminated, and I don't think I was quite there. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. And that was Monday afternoon. Another sick joke. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. Your mind has closed to the possibility that there could be anything wrong. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. But now that's changed. The first words I said were: "If there's anything wrong then it's my fault", I had been working 70, nearly 80 hours the previous weeks and pushed myself hard. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. And the first few things they said it didn't sound as thing, as though things were terribly wrong. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. Sam squeezed my hand and told me it was ok. But the consultant had found more spots on the heart and the measurements were the same. But at the 20 week scan, which was on a Wednesday, we saw the nurse at the local hospital, the sonographer, and she did a scan and she found that the femur length was quite short in the, in the fetus. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. And everybody knows and everything is right. Desperately trying to hold onto the glimmer of hope we'd been given. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. It was a bit worrying but on the plus side I got an extra couple of scans and an extra couple of pictures.
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